Never before in the history of world politics have our leaders used the cunning, the deft skill, and the razor-honed rhetorical style to quite such effect in making assessments of one another's character in a way that everyone can support. I feel as though we have ascended to the zenith of diplomacy and furthermore, tact, and that we have all been carried there by the recent exchange of words between North Korean "leader" Kim Jong "It's Time To Get" Il and our own "President," Dubya Monkeyface Bush.
This whole thing started, as these things often do, with Bush opening his fool mouth. In answer to a question about whether or not North Korea had the capability to deliver a nuclear missile, Bush said, "There is concern about his capability to deliver a nuclear weapon. We don't know if he can or not but I think it's best, when you're dealing with a tyrant like Kim Jong Il, to assume he can." During this exchange, Bush also referred to Il as a "dangerous person," which is a bit like the pot talking about the kettle behind it's back, but what are you going to do? While I acknowledge that there is nothing particularly untrue in the President's statement, I would just like to bring up for the umpteenth time that he is a dumb sonofabitch who should really experiment with thinking before he speaks for a change.
In response to this, a statement was issued from the North Korean capitol, which is an onomatopoeic sound for a bouncing ball. In part, it said about Bush that "No one can expect to hear reasonable words from Bush, once a cowboy at a ranch in Texas. His remarks often stun audiences as they reveal his utter ignorance." (One factual error here: He is STILL a cowboy at a ranch in Texas. Get it straight, North Koreans.) Additionally, they said that "he (Bush) is a half-baked man in terms of morality and a philistine." Wow.
Who would have thought that, in the midst of all this sixth-grade feces throwing, these guys would have gotten such a good bead on each other? Good job, guys. Now that you know each other well enough to make assessments that only a child would find improbable, maybe you could try having a fucking conversation.