Today's winner of the Squidbag's newly-minted "Complete Running Moron Award" is Curtis Allgier, a tattooed convicted felon who killed a cop on Tuesday and then was disarmed after a high speed chase through Salt Lake City, UT by a line customer at an Arby's. Curtis, it would seem, is incapable of making good decisions, and is crying out for some sort of life coach, counselor, medication or public execution. First, let's a take a close look at Curtis' face, reading what we find there very carefully. It would appear that at some point Curtis decided to be a a racist, as he has "SKIN HEAD" tattooed above his eyebrows, and I believe that's Adolph Hitler right there where his necktie knot would be if he had ever seen a necktie. So - we begin with following the ideologies of a group of people who are widely condemned, discredited, hated by even the most permissive and tolerant, and who have lost a major war, to boot. It's like people who go in for Satanism. They looked at the same source material as Christians, and picked the guy who loses. Wow. So yeah, in addition to taking himself out of the job market and most of polite society by inking his idiotic and fringe beliefs right on his goddamn face, he also altered himself to be less white in a show of white power. After all of this, he does something that gets him put on parole, then breaks parole, which gets him hounded by authorities, then falls out of a fucking hotel attic on the way to prison, which it seems he found depressing. It's prison, you freakish fuck - it's not supposed to be fun. As a third act to his little life play, he kills a guard, wrecks a stolen vehicle and crashes into an Arby's for what? A Beef N' Cheddar? Some curly fries? What the fuck were you thinking, Curtis? Finally, he's disarmed by a guy waiting on line, one Eric Fullerton. For this, Curtis will likely hang like laundry until dead. I think they just still hang criminal asshole fools like Curtis in Utah. (Nope, but I am informed that New Hampshire does...how weird is that?)
Congratulations, Curtis Allgier, you're famous.