Baby Huey Heads Home

Baby Huey - er, I mean, Karl Rove, the man known around the White House as "Boy Genius" (though clearly, his boyhood is best remembered in black and white) and also "Turd Blossom" (not kidding) has announced this week that he will be leaving the Monkeyface administration, "having done all the damage to this country's belief in democracy that I can possibly do."  Rove (pictured here defending the "size does not matter" dictum) also added that he would be spending more time with his family, who in addition to glistening while squirming in a pack under a rock and ingesting large mammalian fecal matter, have really been missing him.  Often given credit in the media and especially by intellectually average social conservatives for being "brainy" this man characterized himself as a white whale this week when comparing himself to Moby Dick as he is sought by Congress's Ahab to shed some light on stuff the White House has buried deeply.  Very deeply.  I don't know about the "Moby" part, but the "Dick" part is right on.  (Thank you, Ian Case.)  An overrated strategist, Rove tapped into that same underlying vitriol that makes Americans' root against a sports team rather than for one, and compels them to tune into fucking American Idol to see who gets belittled into obscurity next.  We also used to turn out for public hangings.  The politics of divisiveness constitute an easy and honorless tool to wield, and Rove was a master of breaking things down with it.  Described as "Bush's Brain" as though this was a compliment, and not akin to being described as "O.J.'s Conscience" or "Michael Jackson's Sense of Reality", Rove took pride in winning at any cost, and likely ended up with a soul not even the devil himself would want to sully his cloven hands.

I expect that he will write a book, because that's what these fucking people do.  It will be ghostwritten for Dubya, and will be drivel, a meaningless attempt to explain why we never understood them as well as we should have while they were in power.

Bye, Huey.

Comments

[Matt Olson]

I find that the length of your paragraphs roughly corresponds to the measure of vitriol that you possess for the subject of your posts.

I also find that my use of the passive voice roughly corresponds to the delicacy I am attempting to exert.

Submitted without comment.

[G]

Matt;

I didn't think you could submit a comment without a comment, except that you seem to have done exactly that.

That is one long-ass paragraph though, huh?

[Matt Olson]

Yeah, pretty much. Bill Lueders would've flipped on that, vitriol or no. I would have broken it at 'Often' and/or 'I don't know' & 'The politics of.' But that's me.