At a fancy dress party, with a whiskey in hand,
surrounded by those I once trusted,
I decided to shake up the soirée a bit,
and I spontaneously human combusted.
I shouted, "Flame On!" as I burst out alight,
and ran out across the dance floor,
screaming, "Burn, all you fuckers, burn!" and "Hahahaha!"
as I made my way out to the door.
Bits of me, flaming, dropped down on the grass,
other bits rose into the air,
my skin and flesh melted, the heat was intense,
the first thing to go was my hair.
Hissing and bubbling, I dashed away from the fling,
charring my way to my car.
And I drove home and still cooking, sat down in my yard,
to observe the bright burning of stars.
Cops came the next day, and the firemen, too,
I was well and truly quite busted,
but that's the well-worth it price that you pay,
when you've spontaneously human combusted.