For awhile, "road rage" was a huge topic. In the news, in reports - it was as if, for a brief shining period, people had discovered a new phenomena - and then they petered out and quit talking about it. But the actual occurrence of "road rage" didn't go away, of course. It has, since the invention of the path, I would contend, always been with us, and always will be. I, for one, have my whole adult life contended that road rage was nothing more than a person's regular rage with a car wrapped around it at the time. There are far too many of us allowed to have licenses and vehicles who also have "unresolved past conflict" or "anger issues." It's like setting up a time bomb with a time you can't see. And there's no blue wire to cut.
I've been noticing - more so of late, hence the entry - some seriously assoholic driving going on out there. Like the person who missed my front bumper by six inches to run a stop sign in front of me just this morning. Or the widespread virus that hit Green Hills not long ago that deprived everyone of the ability to use their blinkers. I can't stand it. Not that I haven't been guilty of using my vehicle in anti-social ways - but I try to do something like the speed limit, signal, and I don't get too distracted while driving nowadays. When I was growing up, my father was horribly prejudiced, and when someone would cut him off in traffic or just generally interfere with progress, he would look to see if they were A) Black, B) a woman, or C) Asian. Now that I am older, I find myself judging people, too - but with a completely new criteria. I want to catch up with them and get a good goddamn look because chances are - ah yes, there it is - the sonofabitch is on his cellphone, discussing something more important than preserving the fucking public safety! Even worse, for some reason, seems to be those with hands-free setups or bluetooth. California is passing a law later this year insisting on hands-free cellphone operation while the motorist is in transit - it won't help.
Adding to the general distractedness of people driving poorly everywhere, there are the privileged elite fuckknobs who think that the road belongs to them. They drive, I have noticed, one of two kinds of cars - either the luxury job with the huge price tag, or the giant SUV which causes a minor eclipse on every roadway. They are ridiculous, and apparently think that their insurance rates justify bad and impolitic driving. Now, my story about road rage.
A few weeks ago, a BMW came screaming up behind me at a stop light on the corner where I turn to go home. We were four deep at the light, so I was stopped, since I am not the Road Warrior. Not yet. This seeping jackhole actually honked his horn at me. Then, he threw his car into reverse - with oncoming traffic, natch - and cut through the church parking lot (Wednesday night, so the gates were open) about the time the light changed. I knew where he was going. I kept my evil eye on him, bopped around the corner and, turning on my hazards, stopped dead in front of the outlet from his little cut-through. I then laughed at him through my open passenger side window, something like, "HAHAHAHAHA - FUCKER!" Backing up and cursing, he went for the other outlet, but I pulled up and blocked that one, too.
He welled up and stuck his quavering lip out, looking as though he might cry.
I couldn't feel bad about it.
Stupid road rage.