If you could get away scot-free, would you kill someone?
No one ever gets away scot-free.
If aliens were attacking the Earth, would you run or make friends?
Play frisbee with Gort. (TUNK! "Shit. Come on, man...Klatuu Barada catch the damn frisbee already.")
What job do you see yourself at 20 years from now?
Industrial solvent flavor testing.
When was the last time you burst into song for no reason?
Tonight, about three hours ago.
What song was it?
I have a goofy made-up song I sing to my kids when they're getting out of the bath.
Have you ever finger-painted?
Only with bodily substances.
When you die, where do you want to be buried?
My ashes are to be blown into the eyes of my enemies.
Do you consider a giant atom-smasher a threat to humanity?
Depends. Competent help is hard to find.
Do you want pigs to fly?
Who wants to be shat upon by an airborne pig?
If you could be invisible for one day, what would you do?
Steal from the ridiculously wealthy. Enact petty revenge. Watch people naked. Eavesdrop. Shit - what would you do?
Would you rather fist-fight a badger or a koala?
Both. At the same time. And I hope there's money on it.
What would the theme song of your life be?
Shouldn't others pick these for you?
You have 70 seconds to live. What do you DO?!
Make the most of IT!
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
None. I step on that hairy fucker before he gets to my woodpile.
Where was the last place you swore you'd never go to again?
Pensacola. Went back in April.
Does the Taco Bell dog scare you?
How old is this quiz?
Jedis or ninjas?
Jedi Ninja Goodtime Fortune Birthday Party! Who secretly ate the dip? Yoda secretly ate the dip!
Would you trust a polar bear with your life?
Hell, no. Who knows a fucking polar bear's agenda?
Would you rather eat moldy meat or drink rotten milk?
Moldy meat. I bet that's a delicacy somewhere.
Do you wish Pokemon were real?
No - my house would be full of them.
Have you ever played chicken with cars just for the hell of it?
Yep. Isn't that pretty much the only reason to play chicken? Stupid goddamned quiz...
Would you take advice from a talking McDonalds sandwich?
Depends on the sandwich. Big Mac's got street cred, but that Filet-O-Fish is one crazy-ass mick bastard. McChicken gives bullshit advise due to his being a cowardly bitch, and Quarter Pounder - we cool.
What would you rather blow up: a puppy or a kitty?
Do you understand what "e=mc2" means?
The energy of a thing equals its mass times the speed of light (in a vacuum), squared. With the Internet at your disposal, I'm sure you can do better, but that's as far as I'm going.