Apparently, Pastor Wiley Drake of the Fuckholt Church of the RightWingnut has the voice of God, speaking right into his otherwise cavernously empty melon head, telling him to go on the radio and Internet, and ask for the death of Barack Obama, if that be His will. Previous things asked for by Pastor Drake include the deaths of IRS employees, and some kind of action against Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. Pastor Drake is careful to stress - probably to avoid a plague of black helicopters circling above the rock out from which he slithers each day - that he is asking for nothing save the will of Almighty God, but if he ends up on lists because of it, so be it.
A couple of things here, Pastor Drake. Just some things bugging me, niggling at me, vying for my attention whilst I listen to your waste of breath and cells polluting the world; First, Why exactly would it be the will of God to put Barack Obama into the White House and then subsequently kill him? Because it's God's will to have Joe Biden in charge? Come on - no one believes that. Second, why is it God only speaks violent shit to you? Are you sure you're not listening to the nasty, drunken Old Testament God who was always throwing down on people, raining fire, floods, boils, and plagues, making bets with the devil and slaughtering firstborns? I thought New Testament God was kind of God-by-proxy-through-Christ, sending Holy Spirit doves and shit. But then - I'm not a pastor, I'm only a simple man, and there are perhaps things I don't know.
Finally, why is it you fucking people seem to have a monopoly on God? Why does God only talk to crazy idiot fuckwits who then turn and spew their filthy gibbering mouths' effluent out on all of us? Why can't God talk to the Squidbag? Wait - I'm getting a call from God right now, and the connection's a little shaky, but it sounds to me like he's saying - wait, okay, yeah - SHUT THE FUCK UP, WILEY!!!
I mean - that's just what it sounds like to me.
