Right now, a couple of storm systems are tear-assing their way through the Southland, dropping tornadoes, flattening houses, flooding spaces, knocking down trees and killing a couple of hundred people. I'm not looking to make light of any of that, except for the things that are inherently funny, like when someone parks their expensive cock of a vehicle inadvisably under a tree and ends up with a front seat of destruction and pine needles, or when Donald Trump gets the breath sucked out of his useless lungs by a tornado and is then sucked away into the whirlwind void and deposited upside-down and naked in a hole full of badgers and razors. Stuff like that.
I am, however, going to take issue with a couple of other things, because it's what the fuck I do. The first one is tree mourning. I don't get this. Okay, sure: If a group of assholes is stripping a piece of land down to the dirt with yellow heavy machinery and internal combustion equipment, then, yes - that's lamentable, due to it being stupid, arrogant, unsustainable, unnecessary, ugly, and preventable. We should kick ourselves a bit when that happens. But when a totally natural event, like a tornado, rips down that century-old tree you're attached to? Perhaps unfortunate, but give me a break. The tree doesn't know it's 100. Nobody cares but us, and that has more to do with our resistance to change than anything. If you're going to miss the birds or the shade, fine, but going around whining about something nature did to nature is bothersome for the rest of us. Quiet down now.
Then there's all the praying. "Pray for the South!" Okay. First off, the South has major difficulties, and has had, for a long time, that have nothing to do with the weather. Poor literacy rates, bad college attendance and graduation rates, rampant conservatism, institutionalized racism and homophobia, too many churches, too many guns, anti-intellectualism, inbreeding, feuds - the list just goes on and on, and yes, you can contend that many of these problems are caused by the other problems, but it just gets so damned hot here in the Summer that no one does anything but sweat, drink sweet tea and say "My, my," and the inertia's hard to overcome to get anything done. But while you're praying, for all the good it does, why not pray about some of that stuff? Why not just throw the South on your prayerlist and leave it there? Is it like a playlist - you get tired and have to delete some stuff until there's tornadoes and you can put it back? "Ooh, I haven't prayed about the South in a while."
Also on this point: Isn't praying for people affected by tornadoes kind of like Monday morning quarterbacking and making fun of your boss all wrapped up in one metaphysical burrito of sheer uselessness? In your philosophy, I think, God sent the tornadoes, people used free will to try and avoid them, God knew they wouldn't, people had damage, hardship and death visited upon them by God, God chuckles at your prayers to ease the pain from stuff he did in the first place. Kind of like begging the shark to ease off on the vig, yeah? Good luck with that.