I don't know if any of the rest of you do this, but for about a dozen years now I've subscribed not only to the emails and such of those political candidates and causes I support, but also all of the emails and updates of all the bastards, too. I started doing this on the advice of my great friend and mentor Mike Basford, who obviously thought that maintaining an informational conduit from one's enemy was more important than maintaining one's low blood pressure.
I tend to agree, even when the emails infuriate me, and when they come up extremely anti-person (pick your poison) I sometimes delete without finishing. They're an extremely useful window into the tiny, tiny minds of the opposition, however, and particularly useful when you hear some dittohead parroting an argument you know the rightwingnuts already packaged for them in a talking points email blast. Many a time I've found myself in a ridiculous pseudo-political argument thinking, "You don't know if that's true, you only know that your dark lords say it is." Ron Paul's people are the worst for this, by the way. They just puke up the party line like they've been thinking about it for years, and it's verbatim from emails and flyers if you just look. I think they rehearse in front of their Ron Paul alters at home.
Today I got one that's really amusing (to me), so I thought I'd share it - it's from Mitt Romney, whose email outclasses the NRA's "the whole rest of the world's trying like hell to take our guns" paranoia by a country mile. As follows, then:
Squidbag,
The stakes are too high this election to sit idle -- that’s why we’re inviting you to get involved and become a MyMitt member. MyMitt members will make all the difference this election as we take on Obama’s campaign machine.
Become a part of Team Romney by signing up for a MyMitt account here http://www.mittromney.com/action.
As a MyMitt account member, you can find out about campaign events in your area, sign up to volunteer, make calls from home to get out the vote, fundraise online, and so much more.
This is a critical election -- and with your help and support, we will be ready to take back the White House.
Sign up to join MyMitt today:http://www.mittromney.com/action.
Thanks.
Zac Moffatt
Digital Director
Romney for President
Okay: "MyMitt" is just really funny for any number of reasons: he's such a flip-flopper that he's infinitely adaptable, and it sounds really kind of gross are a couple off the top of my head. I think it's the proximity of the word "mitt" to the word "member." Not seeing stuff like that is why they can run a guy named Bush right next to a guy named Dick and not giggle. Second: "Obama machine?" Who's outspending who again? Also, when you miss a chance to just render the construction "Obamachine," you'll never have my vote. I'm amused with Zac's title, which makes him sound like a character from Tron, and I like to think that it stands for Zone-specific Acquisition Contact, because no normal income humans - much like in Scientology - would go to work for Romney.
So yeah, if you sign up for "MyMitt" action committee, you can do all the work for Romney that if you're signing up, you would have done anyway. But, you'll get a coupon for a percentage off in the RomneyStore, which you don't need, as you're rich, you Romney supporting fuck. Check it out, though, 'cause that smug bastard's coming after your mom.
