So - It's Wednesday morning, and I have arrived early for my Math class. Before my second period class begins, I have to read four sections of the abhorrent F.A. Hayek, the unholy and wiggly filth-sperm that pierced the toothed Cronenbergian ovum of Ayn Rand to create the scourge of modern-day Libertarianism. This is not reading I will enjoy, but it must be done. I am trying to read.
I have moved, in the KOM (a loud echoey building on the campus of MTSU) from a comfortable table because it is loud, the normal loudness of crowds moving. I have moved to an empty hallway outside of our classroom, for the quiet. Mmmm. Morning quiet. Me and my coffee and assigned reading. Good things, yes? No.
Classmate arrives. I do not know classmate's name, but it is well-established by previous "interactions" with her that she will talk to a fucking brick, left to her own devices. I have sat quietly and not responded, and she just keeps right on going. I have walked away, only to turn and watch her, without breaking the sentence, simply eye-seek out another person with ears upon which she can rain her lonely prattle. She is not a purveyor of conversation, this person, oh, no. She is a carpet-bomber of loosely constructed words, and on this morning, she has a litany of FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS she'd like to fucking share with me.
CLASSMATE: I can't believe I have this big stain on my sweatshirt.
ME: (briefly regards stain over open book) Yeah, well, I have to get some reading done.
CLASSMATE: Is that for a class?
ME: Yes. (angles away)
CLASSMATE: I don't know how this happened - I got a (some stupid coffee drink) with extra drizzle (a word that always makes me think of Snoop Dogg, so my brain got off of Hayek and onto Snoop for a bit, though I guess he would say "drizzizzle" and when it came back) but I guess the caramel was sitting on top of the extra foam, and I couldn't really get to the coffee at first.
ME: Wow. I REALLY have to read.
CLASSMATE: Right? So, I think what happened is that once the coffee hotness (not kidding) melted the drizzle (drizzizzle) it went down inside the edge of the cup (called a rim) and then when I took a sip it just plooped out (I may kill you) over the edge and got on my shirt. AND I burned my mouth, (not enough) and I think I'm low on gas (oh, for fuck's sake). I tell you, if one more thing happens to me today -
ME: Let me stop you there. If you don't stop talking to me right now, I'm going to be the next thing that happens to you today. You don't have any real problems. This is a school, please be quiet and let me read now. Shhh.
And then there was crying. Which, in hindsight, seems pretty obvious.