The world is not safe for disrespectful pricks in restaurants any longer. Two instances from last week, the first from Friend of the Squidbag (SquidFriend? SquidFiend?) Joe Basilone out of Chi-Town:
"Took the boys out for lunch, and there were two men sitting across from us having a loud, profanity laden conversation. Realizing that my only "backup" were 2 and 7 year olds, I did the only rational thing I could think of.
Walking over, keeping my voice low enough so that the boys couldn't hear me, I said calmly, "You may not have any children with you, but I do. Have some respect before I shove that hot dog down your throat for you. Sideways." I then slowly walked back to my table and sat down to finish. Neither one of them knew what hit 'em. And neither one uttered a single word for the rest of our meal."
This one's mine: Stopped into a Mickey D's (I know, my mistake) for a quick breakfast between an Abby school activity and a presentation I had to give last Friday when some Seniors, skipping classes, decided to heckle an older woman who was working the register: the main heckler was six feet plus, pasty and red-haired:
"Hey, you disrespectful Ronald Weasley looking motherfucker; you'd best calm down and keep your mouth shut or I'll drop you like a bad habit right now. Test me." It looked like he might speak, and I did my best dad/dog owner "Ut-tut-tut! No more talking 'til you leave," accompanied by closing mouth hand puppet gesture. It worked, everyone else had a peaceful wait for breakfast, and I did not hear him speak again.
We're out there, people. It's about respect. Behave.