This morning, my car tried to kill me.
I took Max out, put him in his car seat, and tried to start the car. There was a "click" followed by silence. I took Max out, put him inside to play, and pushed the car half out of the garage, attaching a lamp to the raised hood. I had a look, and sorted out that not only was it the starter, (as opposed to the battery) but that it was beyond my capabilities. After arranging for towing and transport, I took a look, and decided with the pouring rain and my power windows needing more power than the poor power cells without the engine and alternator could muster to go up, I needed to push the thing back into the garage.
I got in, popped it into neutral, and walked around back. I readied myself to push, and was in turn, hit by a rolling car, coming backwards. I dug in and pushed back, and ended up squeegeeing a dry spot onto the driveway with my sneakers as my car rolled down the driveway and into the cul-de-sac, pushing me kind of sideways behind it. As it rolled into the road, the realization that this pushing thing was not working out crystallized for me, and I leapt up onto the back bumper, scrambled over the trunk, flung myself off the side of the car toward the partially open driver's side door and managed to reach the brake pedal with my right hand. I managed to run over my right ankle in the process, got a swift thwack in the head from the door, and ended up lying on the ground in the pouring rain with my cheek on the manhole cover.
After rearranging my limbs so as to put the bitch in park, I got in and Flintstoned it over to the curb, then sat in it, breathing heavily, feeling the rain and the fresh new pain in my back, leg, and face.
Then, I got out of my car and punched it. Which is to say, with my fist.
As I sit here, today has not been what I would call a successful day - in spite of everything though, I got to play with rats (which is not something I thought I would ever do, and I guess I owe Erin an apology) and see my son playing with kids at what will be his new school in January. They're supposed to be looking at my car in the morning, and Max's school pictures are freaking adorable, so I guess I'll quit bitching, sit here and wait for my body to knit.