squidbag

Space Geek

I don't think I've ever really discussed this here, but I'm a big space geek.  True, I'm a geek generally - comic books, movie trivia, conspiracy theories, esoteric knowledge no one cares about but me - and I suppose this is just one more thing for me to be meticulously passionate about.  Since I was a kid, I have been able to make star maps in my head, and I routinely step outside these days in the wee morning hours to look at Saturn, since it is currently visible with the naked eye.  I firmly believe that there are 10 planets in our solar system, and I think it's time for everyone else to get onboard.  I am also one of those people who printed out the output photos from Space.com when the Mars rover started sending out pics of what I was a little disappointed to find was not a pink sanded planet.  I was able to take Carl Sagan seriously in spite of the "billions and billions" thing, and I like everything about the movie Contact except for the ending.  I am unwilling to dismiss the possiblity of intelligent life on planets besides ours.  And before you ask - if I was intelligent life on another planet, I'm not sure I would bother to contact us at all.

This story is cool, not just because of the title - how could you not get excited about a "Totally New Mystery Explosion?"  It sounds like a Japanese toy company named it.  "Good Time Happy Fortune Mystery Explosion - now with ring tones and Pocky!"  It's also cool because it gives us a potential look at a supernova from beginning to end, and because if you have a halfway decent telescope and know where to look, you can see this from here.  The article also talks about the "Very Large Telescope" in Italy.  Astronomers do this.  I find it funny.  It always sounds like false modesty to me.  "We would have said "the freaking humongoid telescope," but we didn't want any freak-outs."

The other reason this is good news is because I have been waiting for a cosmic ray burst of unknown origin since eleven years before I was born.  Now I have a use for my backyard poorly-shielded rocket project.  I'm excited about the possibly of super powers, and flying a poorly-shielded rocket through the heart of this thing certainly seems promising.  Heck, it incorporates gamma radiation too, and aside from looking into shipping containers, that only makes super powers, right?  I need three volunteers for my dangerous (and poorly shielded) mission to get powers in space.  Only the first three will be considered, and no backseat drivers.  I will need a couple of genius scientists, and maybe a punk kid.  And some rats.  We should probably take some rats.

Redefining Reality & Red

This is red.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, despite what your eyes tell you, despite the fact that there is a cottage industry selling clothing in Blaze Orange that looks suspiciously like this, and making (one would presume) a killing.  Not like Dick Cheney tried to make, but a killing, just the same.  This is red.  Even though you've seen this color on crossing guards, roadside working inmates and construction surveyors, it is not what you think.  It is red.  Stop signs are not red, because they are not this color.  Those other diamond-shaped signs are red.  You probably think that you've seen this color in your grocer's produce section, and if you have, well, it was red then, too.  I had on a red shirt today, except that I didn't, because it was not this color, which at least two of my co-workers, the packaging on the box this came in, and the company that makes it all insist is red.  Since I have to print some red labels for some people on campus, I have no choice but to move ahead and use this "red" material.

Changes will have to be made, of course.  Your impressions of old Soviet Russia are out the window, as well as rose-colored glasses, red lights, and certain Rolling Stones and Neil Diamond songs.  The Red Sox are going to have get used to this, and I guess we'll all need some adjustment time to accept that the color featured above - despite swatch books, years of experience, the evidence of one's own eyes, the visible spectrum of color as we know it, and common bloody fucking sense - is red.  So get to it, alright?  I have work to do.

(tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.)

Forced Retardation

I'm completely sick of the voluntary retardation to which we as a race of humans routinely subject ourselves.  I hear this all the time, a small box placed around the mind, which limits the options available, creating Catch-22 style situations which no one wants to exert the creative effort to break out of.  I get them at work all the time.  "Option A won't work, we need Option B.  Option B is broken, you'll have to use Option A."  No one seems to want to actually think.  I catch a lot of grief for being kind of a black-and-white guy, but come on.  I can't hold a candle to the rest of the world.

Vanity Fair Magazine: Actresses want to be respected as much as their male counterparts in Hollywood, so naturally they're on the cover of Vanity Fair this month, naked.  Not that I'm against naked starlets, but I am well enough into my 30s that their ages (combined for 43) bother me a little, and the argument this starts is silly, but people seem to want this REALLY to be one thing or the other.  I'm not so sure about that.

Islam: Muslims are angry about cartoons which they see as a blasphemy (committed by heathens, which loses me a little) against their beliefs.  The cartoons ridicule them for being an intolerant religion which solves things with violence.  In response to the cartoons, they take to the streets, riot, murder, and destroy property, demanding to be paid the proper level of respect.  Of course, the introduction of religion to thought is like DDT on tomato plants, but there has to be a way of introducing the concept of tolerance to people who think everyone but them is an infidel.  Maybe a tolerance fatwa?  In addition, there's about to be a civil war in Iraq because different kinds of Muslims can't get along.  Nobody saw that coming.

Hamas: "We won't recognize Israel 'til they give back Gaza."  "We won't work with Hamas 'til they acknowledge our right to exist."  "We'll cut your funding - that'll show you."  This is the government these people picked, probably.  We encourage them towards a functioning democracy for years, then shit on them when they pick wrong.  Figure this out, please.

The Death Penalty: Doctors have finally warmed up to the fact that they shouldn't be officiating at executions of convicted felons (that pesky, "first do no harm" thing), so the argument is - what are some new ways to kill people?  Maybe this is a time to examine whether or not killing folks at all is cruel and unusual, or come up with some kind of creative alternate ways to punish people for torturing, raping and killing 17-year-olds.  I mean, I guess if you skip the rape, and just torture the guy to death, that retains you the moral high ground, right?

Dubai & Dubya:  Shades of grey indeed.  We are completely stuck on this one, aren't we?  Homeland Security, and stopping another 9/11, sure - but there's also free trade, free markets, and money to be had.  And besides, we had secret agreements with them before this whole thing even got to the sale stage, so unregulated capitalism was never going to be an issue.  It's fun to watch people try to be safe on this issue without coming off as racist, too.  It's like using the word "Arab" in a sentence is inviting a fight of some kind these days.

Name your poison.  NFL on cable, abortion, partial-birth and otherwise, election year politics, intelligent design bullshit, 1st Amendment rights, the war, the peace, the stem cells and the new movies.  Shit, we had to have a ruling on how to pronounce "Turin."  We are capable of so much more than Red State/Blue State, heathen/faithful, straight/gay, pro/con dichotomies & discussions - and probably better solutions to our problems.

Makes me so mad, all I can come up with are all-or-nothing solutions.

Freakin' Meme from ESP

So I got tagged.  Here're my responses to the Power of Four meme from Uncle Eric (pictured).  Also, I have several issues of the Power of Four comic from the early 70's, before they were sued for copyright infrigement by the Church of England.  Oh, it's great.  Here goes:

4 Jobs I've had:

-Condemned Structure Demolitions (this might have been my favorite job)
-Press Operator (this is my current job)
-Campaign Manager (this is least like a job)
-Freelance Rock Smoker  (not real, but a damn sight more exciting than a Retail Implementation Specialist or an Operations Technician, titles so silly you just know there's nothing to do.  I could also have listed Graphic Artist, but I'm kind of that all the time, so it's less of a job than an active, indoor lifestyle choice.)

4 Movies I can watch repeatedly:

-12 Angry Men
-Citizen Kane
-almost anything comics related (no Catwoman, Steel, Spawn, or Schumacher Batmen)
-almost anything with the director's commentaries active...these are great for falling asleep to.  The perfect fusion of these last two is the Guillermo del Toro commentary from Hellboy where he goes on and on about lunch with Ron Perlman, Mexican mythology, esoteric occult shit, and how great comics are.

4 TV Shows I love (love?):

-Alias
-Justice League (& Unlimited)
-Oz
-Simpsons (though a lot less these days, and I feel like I should mention the Masters of the Universe cartoon for the opiates connection, but then again, perhaps not.)

4 places I've vacationed:

-road trip through Mexico (growing up kind of experience)
-Canadia, the Bright Shining Lady to the North
-Thanksgivings in Madison, WI
-this blog

4 of my favorite dishes:

-Eileen Norris' spring rolls,
-anything from the Heling kitchen,
-my wife's fried chicken,
-my mom's sausage balls (heh).

4 sites I visit daily:

-The Devil's Panties,  (I'm one of those people who doesn't give a shit that Jennie can't spell)
-all the blogs of my friends - that's right, I check all of you once a day.
-all the websites of movies I am excited about,
-my Yahoo newspage.

4 places I would rather be right now:

-Anywhere but Pensacola, Florida
-driving away from Pensacola while it blackens the skies with smoke from its burning buildings,
-some faraway land where they've never heard of religion,
-the Oval Office.

4 bloggers I'm tagging with this shit:

-Erin,
-Basford,
-JRH &
-JB.

This Really Happened

(No, seriously.  I took notes on this not 45 seconds after it happened, so my memory wouldn't have to keep track of all the detail.  Earnest young man with Bible clutched in one hand, sign in the other - "Romanism leads to sin - ye must be born again" - literally steps in front of me, causing me to interrupt my step whilst I'm headed toward the doors of a building on campus.  Do the math: Bible+fresh-faced young guy+ IN FRONT OF ME in the mood I've been in lately - see previous entries = problem about to happen.  We've switched the fine coffee we normally serve for Holy War Class Conflict - let's see the results.)

=====

ME: (As he steps in front of me) That's a mistake.

GUY:  Excuse me?

ME: Well, I would, but you're blocking the doorway and carrying a Bible.  Move, please.

GUY: Have you been saved?

ME: Man, I hate that shit.  You're going to need saving if you don't move.

GUY: Have you considered the sacrifice -

ME: I'm really not interested.

GUY: You're not interested in Christ?

ME: I'm not interested in religion.  Especially not yours.  Listen - you're a young guy from a young faith that seeks to make the planet look younger for the street cred you think that gets you, when really you're just a baby religion with strong propaganda.  And a President.  You have roots in cannibalism and child sacrifice, and you believe the invisible winged people help you drive.  The fact that millions buy into your bullshit wholesale is testimony to the depths of the human condition and the small minds of some people.  Additionally, the gall required to spout your ecumenical "truth" - in quotes - to a person who asked you sort of politely to move and leave him alone is arrogant and offensive to the extreme.  Now, I don't know if your conversion handbook covers this, but I am a hostile, thinking humanist who used to be pretty good with his hands.  Back the fuck off me and go home, choirboy, or I guarantee you will suffer for your faith.  And your friend, too.

GUY #2:  Better just leave him alone, Doug.

ME: (walking away) Yeah, sorry Doug.

GUY #3: (from a different direction, holy book in hand) Sir, have you ever considered a new path, the path to truth through Mohammad the prophet?

ME: (briefly struck dumb) The fuck is this?  You people have quotas or something?  Am I on reality television?  You, leave me alone - I'm pissed at you, too.  Is it Zealot Day, and I missed it?  Didn't you hear what I just said to the Jesus guy?  I swear, if there's a Jew or Amish or something around the corner, I'm driving the van right up on the fucking sidewalk and sending you all to your rewards.

=====

See, I don't think I look like a mark.  I don't walk around with a particularly receptive, "please - I want to hear all about it" look on my face, so I don't get this.  What the hell was this?  I can't find anything on the student calendar indicating that the commons would become ground zero for soul conversion on Thursday, and that whoever got the most got a stereo or anything...Incidents like this make me want to get in my car and drive into the woods until the engine falls out and then live in the backseat off of potted meat and Tabasco for a while.

Lasso of Truth

You've heard a lot of people tell you what this country needs - new leadership, a return to values, a five cent cigar - well, never let it be said that I was reluctant to add my voice to the rising cacophony that was Americans requesting something new.  What we really need, people, once and for all, is Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth.

Wonder Woman was created by William Moulton Marston, who was an interesting guy with some really wide interests, an open marriage, and who also invented the lie detector.  Really.  Less known is that Stan Lee invented the Cuisinart, and Bob Kane is responsible for cold fusion.  Anyway, Marston, before perfecting the real lie detector, gave a fictional one to Wonder Woman.  Forged from the girdle of Gaea, and charged with the fires of Hestia, the lasso is nigh-unbreakable and compels all within in its binds to tell the truth, the whole enchilada, and nothing but.  Tempting, right?  I'd love to get this thing around Cheney - "Okay, we were both high on crank with shotguns" - or Bush, "Muuuguhhh," or even members of my extended family - "Look, I know that's English, but we're so far apart on these issues it's like you're speaking a foreign fucking language."  Just a great tool for cutting through the crap.  Don't feed me any shit about how this could be interpreted, or how someone might look at it, or what bloody loophole you can fit it through - just give me the most unvarnished version of events, and we'll deal with the rest together.

Of course, the temptation would be to use it all the time, thus leading to serious atrophy in social skills.  You'd be suspicious of everyone not in the lasso, and forget how to detect artifice on your own.  Your poker game would suffer.  We'd likely get lazy, so it would be important to keep it back and use it only for bank employees, doctors, government officials, and maybe anyone affiliated with a church of any kind.  Maybe just a "uses per month" schedule would be good.  Oh, and in the comics, you don't just spew out indiscriminate truths - "My ass itches, your hat sucks, my cat's breath smells like birds that used to live in my yard" - you respond to interrogatives, and pass along useful intel.  It would have to be like that, or what good is it?

The downfall of normal human interaction - the Lasso of Truth.

Sin

Nah, I'm not done with this topic yet.  As I had a parochial primary education, (like some people have childhood diseases) I may never be done with this particular topic.  Heck of an albatross with which to burden the non-believer, yeah?  The question of sin.  My big question - and I touched on this before - is whether or not you can sin outside of a religious context.  Anyone?

For instance, representing the face of the Prophet of Islam in any way is a sin, as Mr. P was good enough to point out, and as I of course knew, since it was one of the games at my April '97 Blasphemy Party (long story).  Since that rule/guideline/whatever is presumably contained in the Koran or other holy works of Islam, one would have to be a good practicing Muslim to be expected to adhere to it, or at least, having broken the rule, to be expected to be "sinning."  At bare minimum, the rest of us are being "disrespectful" by drawing, publishing, and re-publishing cartoons.  I don't think I buy that.  How is it - can one of you learned people answer for me - that I am disrespecting you by doing something you consider a sin and that I don't?

Is a Catholic minister who has a drink with a Protestant who believes that imbibery is wrong being disrespectful?  Is it disrespectful to get on with your life, in spite of what others may or may not believe?  When you interfere with someone directly, and in a way that they cannot, or would not be reasonably expected to avoid, okay, you got me.  But folks in Pakistan don't even read Danish newspapers most of the time, I'm guessing.  (I could be making wild assumptions about Pakistani reading habits that benefit no one, I know.)  It's like Christians in this country who don't like what they see and hear on TV or the movies or on the radio - don't watch, don't listen.  You'll be happier.  And if not, you'll be quieter, and that's good enough for me.

The other question I'd like addressed dovetails nicely with this one, and it's this:  What is the religious (and specifically Christian) obligation to keep others from sinning?  Is there one?  The thing that keeps bringing this to my attention is all this stuff about gay marriage.  Fundies voted in droves for Dubya because he's again' it, and they'll probably re-elect their local guys in 2006 for the same reason.  Why?  Why are they against gay marriage?  Because to them, being gay is a sin.  Fine.  Don't be gay.  Why do you feel the need to stop others?  Why do you care if they get married?  Do you not distinguish (as my wife believes they do not) between the holy institution of marriage in the sight of your God, and the legal institution of civil matrimony?  They were both brought up during my church wedding, as I recall.  I also seem to remember that you must "render unto Caesar," if it becomes the  law.  If it is because you believe that this would somehow jeopardize the institution of marriage as a whole, then you must not have a lot of faith in your God or your marriage.  Seems to me you ought to go on and let them homosexuals sin, since not to is to steal what you presumably believe is their God-given free-willingness to sin.

I think that's all for now.  If anyone feels like running with the sin topic, be my guest.

Valentine Briefing

So, I got scooped by everyone on this one, but most notably by Trogglehumper, whose was the first blog I saw with Cheney/shotgun jokes on it after I heard about the incident.  What REALLY sucks was hearing my joke in Jay Leno's monologue (on CNN before the show aired) before I could get it in here.  The lawyer jokes are easy, the WMD jokes are easy - what impresses me is the restraint the major news agencies have shown up to this point.  You don't think so?  I would never have allowed a story about this to go out without including the phrase "shot in the face."  I think it contains something important about the event.  I could shoot you in the face with a Nerf dart gun and you'd be upset.  And let's stop all this talk about how small bird shot is.  I don't care how small it is.  SHOT IN THE FACE.  I bet it's big enough to really piss you off, at least.  The real story, of course (aside from the illegality of the hunting, which we in Escambia County know all about) is the 22 hour cover-up, which helped them duck the Sunday talk shows, and inadvertantly extended the potential life of this thing.  They were shockingly candid about why they did this:  McClellan says as much when he points out that the Veep's office "worked with" Mrs. Armstrong in controlling the outflow of information.  What's with all the secrecy and behind the scenes movement?  At least when the Clintons shot someone, they were good enough to kill the person outright and then leave the body in public view.

In other news silliness yesterday, apparently you have to be a schmuck to be in authority in Iraq, not just in the US.  The new guy in the Dujail trial (wow, that was hard to spell) keeps getting into these weird back-and-forths with his defendants and witnesses, thus undermining his authority even further.  The English are under fire again for beating up Iraqi boys - with cheering caught on video no less.  I would let you hear it, but NPR's website cut it out.  Can't archive it, my ass.

I'm pretty much ignoring the Olympics.  Let me know when hockey starts.

I liked the Super Bowl this year, even though there was no titty.  (Yeah, I know it was two weeks ago - I wanted to make sure Matt caught the game on TiVo before I gave it away.)  I'm sick and fucking tired of people crapping on the Super Bowl - it was a good game this year, stumping even Smooth Jimmy Apollo.  Sometimes the bowl game sucks - even a lot of the time - but it's worth watching for when it's like this one was, suspicious calls and all.  (By halftime, I had begun to suspect that the officials might have some money on the Steelers.)  And you curs who "watch the game for the commercials?"  You should all be destroyed.  Destroyed all.

I've been kind of overwhelmed lately - what with trying to get a new job in a new state, C's bun in the oven, (if she'd go microwave, these kids would only take a couple of months, tops - "Nine months?  I want it now.") fixing up the house and yard and walls and shit to sell this house, taking care of loose ends financial and otherwise, my crazy fucking in-laws, and my buddy Jones back in the hospital for the fourth time in under a year for his ticker - fuck, man.  That doesn't even cover shake-ups at my job, the side projects I'm trying to get done, or my normal family interactions.  Some days I look in a mirror and think about peeling off my eyeskins just to watch myself do it.  No, not really.  But I think about thinking about that.  Taking all of that into account should explain why I haven't blogged in about a week or so - okay, Guy from Europe?  Plus, I was kind of wondering if anyone would actually read and then wade into the water with me on that last entry.  Only Matt deigned to comment, so - thanks, Matt!

Anyway, I spread Squidlove at Valentine's Day , so have a good one.  Don't shoot anybody.  In the face.

(The Squidbag from a year ago today is really sexy.)

That Entry on Belief

You had to know this one was coming eventually.  There've been like, seven of these kind of leading up to this one, and world events coupled with those in my own life multiplied by the fact that I cycle back around to the question of belief outside of one's self every fourteen months or so amounts to this entry.  If you prefer the ones about books, urine, or the President - they'll be along.  For now though, this is what we have.

The most recent flap in the news - aside from the fact that Pat Robertson, inexplicably, still lives - is that the Muslims are burning embassies & things and protesting because a bunch of heretic newspapers are making fun of the Prophet.  A Danish lawyer has been shot, and people are dead over this thing now.  Over cartoons.  Just to get it out of the way, let's look at how this bullshit started.  The Danes get pissy with the Muslims 'cause they get pissy over everything they perceive as an affront to them, their God, and their holy man, so they whip up a little challenge - "I bet none of you fuckers will draw me some cartoons of Mohammed."  And of course, lots of fuckers did.  Then, the Muslim community all over the globe goes completely berserk - taking the bait - and starts burning things and killing people, because, to quote the guy in the article I linked to back there, "They must respect our religion."

Okay - no.  No one must respect your religion.  They really don't have to, and you can't make them.  You especially can't make them by blowing stuff up and killing people.  Check history.  You can even outlaw other religions, and the rats just go underground and get more fervent, and often, weird.  The best that you can hope for is uneasy tolerance between completely divided motherfuckers who all believe everyone else is wrong.  As you all probably know by now, I don't respect anyone's religion.  I respect people, ones who don't blow stuff up and kill people, and who keep their faith cards mostly pretty close to their vests, and who never EVER fuck around like this in the name of nebulous, made-up creator beings who lay down a bunch of cheap and restrictive rules that seek to limit human potential by bricking up thought and throwing stumbling blocks in the way of advancement and community.

This whole thing is stupid, anyway.  You took the bait, guys.  You're proving a point nobody but a bunch of racist Danes wanted proven.  Way to go.  Also - why is it wrong for non-Muslims to represent Mohammed?  Can you sin if you're outside of the religion?  Kind of like breaking the laws of a country you're not in.  Pesky logic.

Asshole religious people are all over the news (and thus, the planet, like roaches) these days.  I can't think of the number of times my wife has tried to get someone to react to this: "By allowing radical Islam to work its will...we would signal to all that we no longer believe in our own ideals, or even in our own courage.  But our enemies and our friends can be certain: The United States will never retreat from the world, and we will never surrender to evil."  Did the President of the United States just refer to a radical religious movement as evil?  A man who supposedly talks to God every day (no word yet on if He talks back - I bet He does) and referred to our wars in the Mideast as "this crusade" before angry Arabs (and nervous Euros) made him take it back?  Does any radical religious movement that kills people (abortion doctors, death row inmates, scores of Iraqis & Afghanis) qualify as evil, or do they have to be Islamic?  Or "Islamists," I think we say that now, to distinguish between your regular, everyday Moslem and guys who turn toward Al's Bomb Barn five times a day.

Then there's Fred fucking Phelps, who I would kill right now with my bare hands in front of a crowd if I didn't think his moron minions would make him a martyr.  (Also, my wife nixes me killing anyone.  Jail, jail, jail vs. responsibility to my family - all that jazz.)  This prick and his "God Hates Fags" people are cactus needles soaked in piss and habanero stuck directly into the eyes of everything good and decent some religious people have ever accomplished.  (Yes, I linked to it - I want you to be as mad as I am.  Go look.)  Did you know he's doing his thing at funerals now?  Did you know he's going to shit on the memory of Coretta Scott King?  I'd like to see him get the shit kicked out of him by a bunch of flaming fairies, I really would.  The biggest, gayest people you could find.  A dyke motorcycle group would be ideal.  Or just a drag queen with some serious heels.

I'm so tired of this shit. These guys aren't aberrations, either.  Fundamentalists are a cancer on organized religion, which already had some serious fucking problems.  And it's a big cancer.  Like a big, distracting facial tumor over dinner.  The rise of the dittohead in global religious systems is deeply horrifying, and turns my blood to ice water with little Titanics sinking in it.  Complete with screaming passengers and screwed people in steerage.  What bothers me about this whole belief thing is not that so many people believe, it's that they think they believe exactly the same thing as the guy next to them.  And that's crap.  Talk to people.  (I force myself to do it all the time.)  In real life, Person A does not believe the same things I do.  And neither do you.  No one believes the things I do.  But these people in churches, at protests, in crowds and at riots, are they easily led automatons, or is it the lack of real, genuine, organically formed (no, not that tasteless shit at the health food store) community that drives them to accept what's given them, or worse - to make one up?  We laugh when it's Rush or O'Reilly, but not when it's a pastor, the Pope, or a prophet.  Why not?  It's just words.  You chose to venerate this source over that one.  The rest of us could give a damn.

I don't know what I am anymore.  Mad.  Too mad for any Eastern religion, I'd wager.  When others seek to classify me, I have to be "not them," and that needs a verbal shorthand.  Agnostic?  Hmmm - does that go far enough?  Atheism appeals to me, except that I run into so many religious people who want it to be an active belief system, thus missing the point entirely.  I'd like to keep an open mind, but so many of the options just suck.  I like what Vonnegut has to say on the subject: "Something wonderful is going on; I do not doubt it.  The explanations for it do not satisfy me."  I don't think it's any good to have one belief that rides on your back after you decide to have faith in it (and faith is a decision).  I think it makes you retarded to single out one belief that way.  It's not good exercise for your brain.  Hear me out.  Albert Einstein - who I'm going to go out on a limb and say was smarter than Phelps, radical Muslims, the Pope, Monkeyface, and Pat Robertson all put together - did not find a contradiction between his scientific training revealing to him that "much of what is in the Bible cannot be true," and his belief that "God does not play dice with the universe," his rejection of quantum physics.  His associates all say of Einstein that he was a believer in many things, and that he felt as though the universe was being manipulated in some way - though not by the God of the Bible or any other holy book.  Just manipulated, maybe.  It's a bigger maybe for some of us than others.  But your brain can handle it.  Try.  I am Yoda.

It's really not that hard, that 'maybe.'  Instead of choosing to be committed to invisible things outside your own community, or books of epic poems, allegories and parables that are predated by China and even Stonehenge, or to some icon, idol, or ideology - what about just listening to your gut for a change?  It's just a suggestion - far be it from me to tell anyone what to do.

Fitting In 'til the End

I know I don't have to live or work here much longer.  That knowledge is what gets me through my day.  Since I went out of business, sold my building and got my most recent job, (and somehow, magically, since the beginning of 2006) I've ceased giving two-fifths of a damn about a lot of things.  For instance?  For the first time in my life, I'm letting my hair grow because it's a kind of code that separates me from most of the rest of Pensacola.  Okay - that's only one reason, but it's definitely a reason.  Seems silly, but there's no way anyone's going to invite me to a Rotary meeting wearing an ink-stained shirt and with hair past my collar.  I also no longer have the emotional reserves to deal with drama from quarters that will not stay silent.  If you can't behave and fit in with my normal, everyday routine - fuck you, I have too much to do.  I have to sell my house.  That said, I am finding everyday ways to amuse myself, occasionally (a lot) at the expense of my co-workers.  Here are some things you can try to shake things up a little bit at the place where you toil:

- Talk like, and pretend to be, an Arab street merchant for a whole day,
- Leave weird shit in the freezer - documents, small statuettes of Superman,etc.,
- Write "do not eat" on the HAZ/MAT cabinet, and point it out to people as a reminder,
- five words: Lords of Acid mix disk,
- if one of your co-workers claims to be sick with Bird Flu, report her to the CDC,
- preface everything with, "I've got some bad news about that,"
- whistle In-A-Godda-da-Vida, especially the drum solo part.

Anybody got suggestions, feel free.