1. Have you had your tonsils out yet? No, and you'll have to pry them from my cold, dead throat at this point. I use them for yodeling, like most people do. And Tarzan yells. Story my mom tells is: It's First Grade, and I've had numerous legit tonsil infections. Doctor tells my mom, "next one of these, and we should just take them out." Last one I ever had. Like the tonsils knew.
2. Is there anyone you used to be friends with and you are no longer on speaking terms? Fuck, yeah. I've been cultivating enemies since before Al Gore invented Internet memes while driving down the InfoSuperHighway in his Prius. What else ya got?
3. Are all of your grandparents still alive? No.
4. Do you tend to be afraid of confrontation? No. I find it cathartic, cleansing. Nice. Ahem.
5. Would you consider yourself an expert at anything? Are you an expert at stupid questions? Is the Pope an expert at Catholicism? Yes, yes I would - but every time I think I'm an expert at something I remind myself that there is always...another. Being an expert is not being a Highlander. An Highlander? I don't know, I'm not an expert in that arena.
6. Do you collect anything? Comic books. Good stories.
7. Do you answer calls from bill collectors? Only when they're looking for other people, like Steven Wright, or maybe a former roomie.
8. How many boyfriends / girlfriends have you had that you can count over your life? I choose not to count them, because that trivializes them and objectifies my behavior in a way that makes me stabby. Besides, a stolen kiss on a hotel room floor from a girl you never dated can be just as big as a whole relationship with a different someone. It's all in the past, anyway. I've said too much again, haven't I?
9. Have you ever known anyone that was kidnapped? For real, or like, for a birthday surprise?
10. What is the biggest material gift anyone has ever given you? Comics...tickets to stuff. Booze. A wedding ring. A watch. Some other jewelry items. Things that I tend to hold onto because dead people used to own them.
11. Do you like horror movies? Yeah, as long as they're scary to a purpose. I do not watch murder porn - movies where you just count the dead and see how people's fingers come off.
12. What is an embarrassing situation you were once in? Backhanding a drunken asshole in front of a bunch of crunchy hippie pacifists, then having to discuss it for weeks. "The slap heard round the world." Pretty embarrassing. Explaining the rationale behind losing your temper sucks.
13. What is a nickname that you hate to be called? Why in fuck would I put that here?
14. Is there anyone that you hate to love? G. Gordon Liddy. Hillary Duff. We are not discussing this.
15. Is there anyone that you love to hate (or strongly dislike)? Authority.
16. Do you get along with your in-laws? Better now than in the recent past.
17. Are you comfortable talking to people you don't know? I have forgotten how to mingle. I had to "network" so much from 2003 to 2005 that it killed my old banter. I now people-watch, read the signs, and wait for people to saunter over.
18. Have you ever seen something of an "other-worldly" nature? Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Halley's Comet, billions and billions of stars. I once stared into the movie "Pi" for two hours, but that nearly blinded me, so I don't watch anything by Aronofsky anymore.
19. How many first cousins do you have? Two?
20. How much did you weigh when you were born? 9 lbs., 6 oz.
21. Who taught you to ride a bike? ...couldn't tell ya.
22. What family member, besides your parents and siblings, are you closest to? My maternal grandmother, I guess. Unless my brother- & sister-in-law count.
23. Do you still keep in contact with anyone from your kindergarten class? No.
24. How old were you when you had your first kiss? Fourteen.
25. Who was the first person to break your heart? My parents.
26. Do you have a healthy body image? I don't read those kinds of magazines.
27. How old are you in your earliest memory? 18 months. I am falling in sock feet on a kitchen floor and splitting my lip, being rushed to the ER for stitches.
28. Have you ever had a "lucid" dream; a dream in which you realized you were dreaming and made decisions to control and change the dream? Yeah, but I had to read about it and teach myself how to do it, and it's still not a 100% thing.
29. Cats or Dogs? Both are delicious. Both, seriously. Cats because their personality is more like mine, and dogs because they're not like me at all.
30. Do you have a mentor? A couple. Pak, my old sensei, my great Uncle Hugo. Hugo, to me at sixteen: "You have to stop and realize occasionally that you don't know every fucking thing."
31. What causes you the most stress? Cash screws everything around me.
32. Have you ever written a web survey? Nope.
33. Would your life make a good movie? Edited properly, sure.
34. Would your life make a good sitcom? Again, same caveat.
35. What would the name of your life's movie be? Here, I am open to suggestions. What you guys say is always funnier, anyway.
36. What would the name of your life's sitcom be? "Change the Channel"
I tag you all.