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Eddie Izzard on Awesomeness

This bit has recently become part of my brain noise, because I work with someone whose slang is extremely middle to late 90s and because Max's friends say "awesome" a lot.  And Eddie Izzard's a genius.  And he dresses both better and worse than I will ever have the wherewithal to accomplish.  Now and again, it dawns on you that the comedian to whom you are listening is smarter than you are.  This is rare, and it is Eddie Izzard.  I would not have made it through the last three months of my Pensacola printing job without Mr.(?) Izzard.  So, indeed - props.

Astronomers Miss Alien Warning

Early in the morning of the 27th of September, a group of highly-trained but obviously pop-culture starved astronomers managed to entirely miss the battle cry of the vanguard of a honed and ready for conquest legion of what is almost certainly bug-eyed monsters, or possibly giant mutated insectoids from a low-gravity planet.  While searching for pulsars, which broadcast a short-burst intermittent wave completely dissimilar to this massive radio burst from more than 3 billion light years away, they encountered the phenomena, which is undoubtedly encoded with a complex information burst, probably hostile.  Oh, yeah.  While we should be girding up Earth's collective loins for battle and unifying the various countries under a single banner for humanity's future - possibly led by Bill Pullman - "scientists" are regarding this signal as a step toward researching supernovas and black holes, distractions from the real event - universal conquest by a multiplicity of opportunistic alien war machines bent on complete domination of our entire solar system, planet, and way of life.  Of course, the signal may be a deliberate distraction sent by our potential future masters, or perhaps the death knell of a conquered civilization, a last-ditch mortality cry echoing across space to alert us to the hazards that even now speed through the black void on a rendezvous with the third rock from Sol, blissfully spinning on it's axis, a blue marble target in the Milky Way.

The thing is - it's always the lunatic who talks like this who's right about the aliens.

Six

Max is six today, at 12:36pm I believe.  He was born 17 days after 9/11, when the world seemed like a really weird & shocking place and I thought I would be living in Wisconsin and working in politics for the rest of my life.  Shows what I know.  Max has been looking forward to his birthday for a while, but has made it clear that he will also miss being five just a little bit.  I think that's a good perspective on things to have, and I informed him everyone feels that, just a little.  On Thursday morning, Max made me remove a spider from our house without killing it during breakfast.  On Thursday night, we found out that one or two of his friends will be able to make it for a sleepover after the school carnival on his birthday.  Max made friends with people I work with recently, pretty much just by being himself.  He tends to make a favorable, if sometimes overwhelming, impression.  He sometimes plays harmonica at night before retiring, and has become much more into games recently.  He would also eat PB&J three times a day if you'd let him.

I love the boy immensely.  He makes up games constantly, until my mind becomes exhausted.  He's very sensitive and funny and smart, and he seems to command intense loyalty from his friends.  He's doing well in the 1st Grade, aside from some distractability issues in art class.  I had those.  I will tie this entry up by wishing my son a happy sixth birthday, and giving you a retrospective on his other birthdays contained here in the Squidbag.

Five,

Four, and

Three.

Functional Entry Type 002

So - The Olds is gone.

About a week ago now it died in the parking lot at Max's school after I dropped him at class.  See?  I told you it was on its way out.  There was only so much I could to with spliced hoses and tape and new screws and brake fluid and cheating.  The starter failed, and then we were talking about $200 to find out what else was wrong under there.  Last Tuesday night, the good people at Anchor NTR Towing took my loyal and broken Oldsmobile away and promised to try and email me a picture of the cube.  "Is it about my cube?!?"  Thanks to all who have given money, offered vehicles, offered rides, let me borrow cars, and so on.  It appears as though the new car will be a '96 Toyota Camry, black, with a six-cylinder rebuilt engine, and all kinds of comforts and safety which the Olds was sorely lacking.  The Camry is likely to come in under budget, too.  I will let you know.  A special shout-out is due here to Nick, who has been driving me back and forth to work, and who did not and will not cash the suspicious check,  you will be happy to hear.  Feel that?  That's you being happy.

Max's 6th birthday is this Friday.  His wish list is here, though he could also use subscriptions to comics, as there are now more of those than I can afford to get him.  A few years ago, there were only four titles a kid could read - now, there are eight or so.  This is good news.  We may be having some kids over for "slumber" partying, and over the next two weekends, there will be relatives.  This is also mostly a good thing.  Max being six is a little odd, I guess, but he acts so six now, it's time for it.  He is memorizing jokes, and learning Chinese (Mandarin) at school, and he still likes sleeping in his tent, and he still needs his stuffed panda, Stillwater.  He likes pizza and monsters and inventions and dinosaurs and superheroes and Jimmy Neutron and SpongeBob and story books with fables and/or goofy pictures in them.  His three good friends are named Steven, Cedar, and Ben.

Abby answers "no" to any question asked.  "Abby, would you like some banana?"  No, accompanied by reaching for the banana.  "Abby, do you want up?"  "Abby, are you a carbon-based lifeform?"  No, No.  This is not defiance, it's just what she thinks she's supposed to do.  Abby also thinks my glasses are my eyes.  She really likes salads and walking steps and the big blue ball and her brother and the fish game we play in the bath.  And her doggie.  That's really crucial.

After having moved here in February, we somehow managed to quickly fill our home with crap and detritus and shit and stuff.  We are in the process of cleaning much of it out, and incorporating the stuff generously given us recently by Lynne, Kat, and Shannon.  We are moving into the Fall in Nashville, which has been my favorite time of year since I was about nine, mostly because of the potato chip leaves.  C's job continues to be important and interesting, and my job continues to surprise and interest me.  So - for those of you interested, things are good, and we're enjoying life, for the most part.

Next up: Warren Jeffs redux.

Max's Zoo Video

10 somewhat random pics of our zoo visit from last Sunday - video and music choices by Max.

Doom

Another Animoto creation, this one all about my favorite villain of all time, Dr. Doom. Also, congrats to Matt Olson for being the 1500th comment on the Squidbag!

Thor & The Boys

I have recently pared down the number of comics I get on a monthly basis (see: Ongoing Vehicular Issues), but I have a few standout things that are either A) currently making me happy, B) I would like to recommend, or C) both.  C is rare, since I feel like most of what I really like is geekier, comics-wise than most of my Squidbag readership, but what the hell - here goes:

Marvel's Current THOR series: - and before you ask, I capitalize "THOR" for the same reason other people do likewise with "God" or "Allah" or "Great Spirit;" he's the god I grew up with, and it's traditional.  THOR's been dead in continuity for awhile, and this is J. Michael Straczynski and Oliver Coipel's way of bringing him back.  Asgard is re-established hanging eight feet over middle America, THOR deals with why the God of Storms did not ameliorate the damage wrought by Hurricane Katrina, explains things to Iron Man, and begins rebuilding the Asgardian pantheon.  I know THOR gets a hard time from some folks, but this is a good read, a good jumping-on point, and only three issues are out so far.  The first one sold out, so you should see re-prints today, I think.

The Boys: Garth Ennis, the man who brought you Preacher, and Darick Robertson, the man who turned Warren Ellis' futurevision Transmet into pictures, give you The Boys, a comic about not-quite-human black operatives who kick superhero ass when the supes step out of line.  Garth's had a mad-on for superheroes for a dog's age, so this was a long-time coming, and it's sweet vintage shit from both of them, too.  You can't even let your kids see the covers.  The first six issues are out in a trade, because DC dropped it after six issues - Dynamite Comics has done seven through ten.  Fantastic.

Annihilation: Conquest: Too many colons.  The only cross-over event I'm taking part in this year, this is a space opera with destruction and mayhem on a universal scale, hot on the heels of last year's Annihilation.  The new Quasar is cool, and the villain this time around are the Borg-like Phalanx, who seek to choose and assimilate everyone through technology and higher, non-individualistic belief systems.  Runs through five titles: Conquest, Nova, Starlord, Quasar, and Wraith.

Storm Shadow & Iron Fist: For those of you needing a ninja comics fix.  Storm Shadow is being done by Larry Hama, who wrote the 'Nam and G.I. Joe (when it was good) for Marvel, and so he's in the hands he should be in, doing incredibly ninja badassness.  Iron Fist is being done by Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction, and they're expanding the legend of the Iron Fist out into something really impressive.  The art is great, and the sidestories are really cool.  Storm Shadow is more like an old Chop Socky movie mixed with an episode of Alias, and Iron Fist has more of a "good episode of Kung-Fu" vibe.

Warren Ellis' Black Summer: I missed issue 0 of this, because I thought we stopped fucking doing issue 0s in the 90s, WARREN.  I am still looking for it, but having begun with #1, I'm not really lost or anything, because everything else is so cool.  I just feel like I missed the first part of a really kickin' party.  "That happened?  And I missed it?  FUCK."

I've got Mice Templar in the trial period stage right now, but the first issue was solid, Hellboy: Darkness Calls is really good and deep, but Mignola always hits 'em out of the park.  You're either a Hellboy fan, or you're not.  I also just recently finished Doctor Strange: The Oath, which is about a year old, I think, and out in trade, and I thought it was a good story, with just enough cheese to be tasty.

So read more comics.  Also?  This is post #800.

Car Fund Post II

You know, because the other one dropped off the main page, due mostly to my video foolishness.

I'd like to start by publicly thanking my donors up to this point, the Piotrowski/Farsettas of Madison, WI and the Callaway/Olsons of Atlanta, GA.  They are responsible for the 300 bucks I have, and I am thrilled to have gotten this far.  There are a couple of vehicles I have my eyes on (metaphorically, thanks very much Matt) and my own "car" continues to remind me on a daily basis why I started this little fund drive in the 1st place.  The engine noise progresses despite my best efforts, I still work about 20 miles away from where we live, and when I drop Max off at school I get disparaging looks from the other parents.  I'm looking at trying to raise 1700 more dollars with my ChipIn widget on the right there, directly from your PayPal, though checks, cash & items with high resale value are also accepted.

This is Max's list of what my next car should not have:

- broken air conditioning

- falling ceiling with dust coming out

- cracked mirrors

- windows that get stuck

- wrecked up front part with dents in it.

Give 'til it hurts.  Somebody.  Not you - find someone else to hurt.  Thanks.

EDIT: (not something I want to get into the habit of doing) The Olds has officially died.  It's starter failed in the parking area at Max's school this morning, and to fix it is a couple of hundred, not to even address the big stuff that's likely wrong under the hood.  So if you were holding out to closer to my birthday, or for some other odd reason...well, I could just as easily enjoy an early birthday present.

Where Would Buddha Shop?

I would like to take this opportunity to draw your attention to this group of shitheads looking to displace a lot of farmers and working people to make room for a statue of a guy who died two and half thousand years ago.  That "guy" is, of course, Buddha, who's already got some bloody huge fucking statues to him hanging around - already in India, no less, where they want to plant this new one.  A statue serves no function, other than to deify and glorify Buddha at the expense of like 10 and half thousand people - yeah, that sounds like what Buddha would have wanted.  I mean, I'm no Buddhist, but I can clearly see Buddha getting up from under his tree, having a nice stretch, and thinking, "Man - if only all these mopey bastards would get the hell out of here so we could enjoy a giant fucking mongo statue of me here.  And maybe some office parks, shopping malls and theme parks.  Existence is theme parks.  And shameless real estate grabs.  That has a nice ring to it."

I would also specifically like to draw your attention (once you're done choking and rankling over the injustice and hypocritical stupidity inherent in what the story is actually about) to the quotation-worthy remarks of homegirl and recent repatriate Jess Falcone!  Welcome back, Jess - America is just as good as you remember.

9/16 EDIT: I screwed up and should also have linked to this column by Jess, additionally, and didn't, and so now I have.

Max's Video Thingy

Max caught me playing with this, and since this Saturday is meant to be "Play Day" I have spent the last hour getting drawings, scanning them, uploading them and getting Animoto to do this.  I also read comic books.  Max calls his movie XVO 3000, and you will notice that it begins with none other than the insidious Bacon Man.  Max also chose his music for this, although Overseer's Supermoves was a close second.