Especially in the wake of Mitt Romney dropping out of the Presidential race, and because of the books I'm reading, the jokes we tell at work, and yes, even a religion-themed episode of House, I am back to explore yet another facet of this fascinating (to me) topic. Yes, I'm talking about bigotry, racism, prejudice, intolerance, hatin' on people...whatever. In order then:
A few days ago or so on NPR, I had to listen to a Mormon or two telling the world that they were all bigots, because the rest of us are suspicious or questioning of the allegiance and motives of a potential Mormon President. Why can't we hearken back to the Mormon-as-host from the Utah Olympic games? Why does it have to be all questions and weird speculation? It was the characterization of the non-Mormon populace that irked me, though, and put me back on a path I've been on for a while. Are we bigots, really? The episode of House dealt with the same issues, except in a framework of Hasidic Judaism. This all got tied together while I was listening to a couple of the guys I work with over the past week, though.
What is bigotry? (Bear with me, 'cause I know I'm often the last on the train on some of these issues.) Seems to me, that taking the differences you have with someone else into account doesn't quite cut it. You have to use those differences against them to cross the line. A joke about differences between races is often only unfunny if A) the joker is ignorant, or B) there is hatred in the joke itself. There needs to be malice or hate there for it to become bigotry. Seems to me, as with most things in life, there is a kind of scale: Prejudice is quite natural, and done on a knee-jerk level by most people. If you don't have some pre-judging going on about a big frothing guy with a knife coming at you, then you, my friend, are the bottom of the food chain and will not evolve. Asking people not to be prejudicial is asking them to deny the evidence of their senses - asking them not to etch those pre-judgments in stone with carbolic is a different matter. Ex post facto open-mindedness is Bactine to the wound of prejudice.
Which only festers into rank intolerance, it seems, when coupled with another catalyst, something like hate, anger, ignorance, religion, a pre-conceived notion, or a negative past experience combined with a (usually deliberate, I find) emotional closed-mindedness. One of the guys I was talking to today has serious problems with black people, but just spent $130 to go to a Kanye West show. His questionable musical tastes and spending habits aside, there is some hypocrisy here, and at the root of it seems to be negative experiences with black people he's known. His anger over that combined with a sweeping generalization and unwillingness to think about the larger consequences of his actions have led to a quicksand of prejudice. This person is a teenager, it should be noted, and his decisions will likely change with broadened experience. For the present, though, he remains a racist.
There is also extant among my younger co-workers a deep-rooted homophobia, seemingly born of either poorly-expressed religious conviction, or discomfort with one's own sexuality. It's such a small hurdle in actuality, but such a big one ideologically. Again, without the additional factors, the prejudice would founder and sink in the sea of experiential reality.
Finally, we come to bigotry against religious groups, my own worst sin in this discussion. Is it bigotry, really, to take into account the book & rules which people claim to follow, and the beliefs which they say they espouse, and hold them to it in all things? The Jews in the show, and indeed, Hasids in general, want you to know who they are, and that they live their lives for their God. You can pre-judge them by their beards and hats, and indeed, certain social interactions involving food, music, swearing and medical care would be lubricated and facilitated by a little pre-existing knowledge in that arena. This is true for a number of religious groups: they want you to take their beliefs into account, which requires a little prejudice. Mormon Bob does not want to be invited to the titty bar every Friday with the guys. He's not going, and is a little offended that you are. So take that into account, and don't hate him for it.
The hatred in a lot of these situations rears it's ugly head (or shows it's ugly ass) when people feel as though something is being forced on them. There has to be a compromise. I have trouble with religious people when I feel they are preaching rather than sharing, or explaining to me how it is that I am wrong within their very narrow framework. This often leads to confrontation, born of my own hang-ups, exacerbated by theirs. Takes two to tussle. Complete ignorance of another way of life is impossible, however, ill-advised, naive, and silly. Most of the world's people are religious - but I'm not going to live on the dark side of the moon. Completely impractical as yet. In the meantime, I'll deal. Often, you'll hear straight people bitch about Pride parades, as if their nose was being rubbed in labris and leather, or old people complaining about parking lots full of teens, or white people kvetching about Mexican neighborhoods, or Blacks hating on Asians. Ridiculous. Be advised: the world belongs to no one and nothing but simple physics, so you don't have to see everything, but you'd best get used to the other kinds of people out there. Especially if they don't directly impact you, or act like jack-offs in public spaces. The Internet is a huge public space.
In short, I think that most people over-react on both sides of the equation, as we as people are often wont to do. Respect is key, and staying out of other people's business is vitally goddamn important. If you're going to hate someone, I say, hate them for who they are, not what they look like, or who they fuck or pray to. Personalize and direct your anger and aim it at those deserving of it.
Coming here's like a hug, yeah? You feel hugged right now. Not as good as a kiss from the Candyman, but still...
This is Max in his Chinese mask he created at school. He brought it home today, cut the eyeholes out, and together we punched some holes and tied ribbon through. Brandished in the picture, you might also notice his now-dented sword, which he got here. Shortly after I took this picture, he and Abby chased each other around the halls playing some complicated (to me) game involving the gear pictured, an enormous blue ball, part of a baby's bottle, and tickling. It looked like a lot of fun. Afterward, Max defeated some monsters here, while I sang and read several books to Abby. It's nice to have someone who enjoys my singing voice. I think everyone who does is probably related to me.
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