My mom sent me this in an email, and since I am reluctant to spam everyone with my answers, I stick my responses here. That way, you don't have to ignore and delete them, you can just ignore them. It saves you a step. It's a timesaver - the ultimate aim of blogs everywhere, of course. I tag anyone who likes filling these things out with doing this next - though I'm looking in Erin's direction.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I was named on November 11th, 1974, so I guess I was named after anyone who was named before that date. I don't know the time I was named, you'd have to look that up.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I don't remember. That's not the manly; "I cry so seldom that I can't remember the last time," it's just that in recent years, my memory has grown less facile at handling incidental material. What was the question again?
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Are there people who don't? What keeps you from just changing it if you don't like it? I mean, if you have Parkinson's, or a crippling palsy, and don't like your handwriting, then I'm not picking on you - but the rest of you whiny fuckers: For Shame. Also, I don't use that "joined-up" writing the rest of you poncey bastards favor, so printing is my handwriting.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Pastrami.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Two. And they're both mine. One of them has a giant invisible flying singing octopus friend, and the other is helping me write a short story about a zombie. These are the children I deserve. Ask anyone.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Probably not. It's hard to imagine what I would do if I were another person, because I'd be another person. I might end up being kind, warm-hearted, and long-suffering, and thus willing to give me a chance. Who can say?
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
No. I am gentle and sincere in all of interactions with the rest of humankind.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yeah, but I only use them when I yodel, and there's not as much call for that as there used to be.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
What, again? No.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
I have many fond memories of Kaboom, but it's different now, and no longer turns the milk grey with it's myriad of dyes used. These days I like anything with good box reading.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Nope.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Sometimes.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Sherbet. Or that green tea ice cream they have Japanese places.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their facial expressions. You could be missing a finger and I might not pick up on it until halfway through dinner. I study faces, because they lie less than the words that come out of them. I think this propensity makes it easier for me to be a gentleman when around attractive women - I actually am looking at your face.
15. RED OR PINK?
Black.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF?
I'm way too tolerant of others.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Question is too hard. It's not that I'm imposing some kind of mourning egalitarianism, it's just that you miss people more at different times. Moving on.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Eh, I broke the rules and posted it. I hope others will do one, though.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
My sweats are black, and my feet are at present, bare.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A Hall's cherry cough lozenge. Mmmm...lozenge. Before that, some tea and toast. I think I must be British today.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Webb Wilder's "The Olde Elephant Man."
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Clear.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Pepperoni, jasmine, melted butter, hot asphalt, cut grass, gasoline, brats on a grill, old books, new cars, etchmark vinyl, baked apples, clean laundry, baby heads, cigars, fresh ground coffee, CDs & DVDs before they've been handled too much, WD-40, my wife's pillow, olive oil, Matzoh ball soup...I'll just stop there.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
A potential child-care provider.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Shyeah. It's my mom.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
NFL, NBA, NHL. I used to like to watch boxing, but that has waned. I tried to watch horse racing this year, but I couldn't really get into it.
27. HAIR COLOR?
Brown.
28. EYE COLOR?
Green.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Not anymore.
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Anything done well, though some standouts are things made by other people: C's fried chicken & her grandmother's squash casserole, Nick's pork marinade, Josh's eggs, my mom's breakfast casserole and sausage balls, the random veggie creations Brian and Jesse have whipped up that I can't remember but always enjoy. I don't think Matt & Cayce have ever made anything I didn't like...except for things involving sweet potatoes, and then that's not really fair, because I don't like those to start with. Anytime pizza or BBQ are done well, they earn my accolades. I'm not a big steak person, and really only eat it when hibachi'd first. I don't like bananas.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Scary movies with happy endings.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
The Zefferelli / Mel Gibson Hamlet.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter.
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs, for the most part.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Revenge.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Erin, BB19, Matt, Chagrin.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Hitler.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
I'm not reading now, I'm doing the fucking quiz thing - oh. A Walk in the Woods, by Bill Bryson. He makes everything interesting.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
My mouse, and until recently, my hand. What are you doing with yours?
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Friends re-runs.
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
Complete silence.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Stones.
44. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Assuming "home" is the point I left to reach a given destination, London or Mexico.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
No, I'm just special.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
In a hospital.