U.S. Senator Arlen Specter from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, pioneer of "the wall of sound" technique in audio production, rallying after his recent conviction for murder, announced today that he would be switching his political allegiance in a move that stunned the horrifyingly uninformed and chronically uninterested. Specter, who's been a Siddharthic middle road moderate for as long as I can remember, and I remember almost back to 1984, left the increasingly chaotic Goofy Fucker Party and allied himself with the Democrats - a bold move, switching to the popular kids in a year when it will likely help you get elected. Especially when the President's numbers are up after the first 100 days and the party you've belonged to for the last 40 odd years is behaving like a cluster of gnarly dogvipers. (I don't know either, but it sounds cool as shit.)
Don't get excited just yet, any of you - though I expect that those on the starboard side of the ship of state are already in a zesty, frothy foam - Specter's moderate enough not to be a guaranteed vote for either side, so this doesn't change his personal status quo at all, and doesn't alter much - other than to make a filibuster breaking majority possible. That's all. Franken hasn't won yet, anyway, not until Norm Coleman stops being an enormous, pustule-ridden male member. Either way this thing swings, it's important to keep a couple of things in mind about the right honorable Mr. Specter in the coming time ahead;
This man got his start by being recommended to the Warren Commission (which produced one of American history's most contested supposedly definitive documents) by Gerald Ford (one of America's oddest Presidents in terms of accomplishment and legacy) where he either authored or co-authored THE MAGIC BULLET THEORY, which is pivitol to the idea that a single shooter was active in Dealey Plaza at 12:30 on November 22nd, 1963. I can never forget this, even as much as I might like to occasionally. I thought about it all day. Those who cannot remember the past are...well just fucking doomed, really.
