In the recent panoply of media-reported deaths, none thrills me as much as the demise by goring of young Spaniard Daniel Jimeno Romero, who was gored to death by a bull during the fourth day of the annual parade of fuckwits known as the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. Truly, I wish I could feel sorry for his family, or lament at the loss this is anytime a young life, with so much potential and years ahead of him, is snuffed out - but really, I keep thinking what a lucky thing this is for the global gene pool, and how Daniel just must not have had anything in his life worth living for, since stepping out in front of a bull is just about the stupidest fucking thing you can ever do. One has to sincerely hope that Sr. Romero is buried in a bull pasture, and that his marker, which will spawn the best magic mushrooms in the world from its platen of bullshit, is inscribed, "Como grande ahora es su chile, Danielito?"
Big ups to the Pamplona Bulls this week, though, for breaking a 14-year losing streak and popping their first kill in a while. The franchise has been on a good run all week, some solid lung hits and ankle fractures - injuring some Scots and other Spaniards, one Texan (though not the one you're hoping for) and one Frenchman, which is especially impressive, due to their skill at running away. It'd be much more impressive if they weren't all being run through the streets only as a prelude to their eventual deaths in the ring at the hands of skinny pricks with pointy sticks. One bull was quoted as saying, "Snort, snort, snuffle...moo. MOO!" After that, there was a lot of cud chewing.
For past thoughts on the yearly goring of morons, see this.