Senator Sam Brownback, from the 'great' state of Kansas - which to date, has only spawned imaginary people like Dorothy, Clark Kent, and former Senator, presidential candidate, pen wielder and Viagra pitchman Bob Dole - has introduced a bill (along with Senator Mary Landrieu of Louisiana, who must have quite the skull vacancy available) to prohibit geneticists from creating human/animal hybrids, despite the fact that they get better gas mileage, are better for the environment, and have a custom made cadre of fetishists waiting to bump uglies with them after man plays God in the lab. Doc Moreau's gonna be pissed, but I bet it's just this kind of simple, narrow-minded legislation that ran him out to the island in the first place. Won't work, though. If we can get to the Swiss banks, we can get to your shady, offshore genetic tomfoolery. Drop the ostrich egg before somebody gets hurt, doc.
They're not having it - they're even ruling out the Lysine Contingency. Probably a good idea, that one. A lot of people are going to be upset, though. Narnia LARPers are going to be crushed - what does Brownback imagine Lucy did with that faun while she was waiting? He's a faun. Anyone with an Aquaman crush is out, as are fans of the movie Splash. The people over at Orangina aren't going to like this - but then, the French have the crack genetics team of Mein Kampf & Dr. Frog working round the clock on their shit, getting it ready for the spaceships, so they should be okay. Anyone looking to fuck a centaur, minotaur, sphinx or (the queen of the) harpy(s) is going to be up in completely human arms about this thing. Anyone going after their own livestock in the time-honored way is presumably unaffected by this legislation. Garden variety animal fuckery will still be tolerated, I guess.
You got it - the only kind of genetic tampering or gestational manipulation that the cracker right will tolerate is when they force women to have unwanted children, or when they deny abortions to people on the grounds that theoretical people are more important than they are, or when they allow laws that tolerate children marrying children, or those that prohibit anything other than strictly missionary position man-on-woman sex. Or when certain races of people are kept below the poverty line and constricted to certain areas, or when religions say some stuff is okay, and other stuff is not. This other stuff? This here animal stuff? T'aint natural.