Which probably isn't quite what you think.
I would love it if every time we as people disagreed with one another, we could sit and rationally hash things out and nail down every intellectual and emotional point, cite sources, and really get to the bottom of why we're butting heads, but sometimes that isn't possible. When we're in a classroom setting and we disagree on the interpretation of some historical figure's remarks, or how the ripples of an event may or may not have splashed on another - great. We have a mediator, pre-established rules of conduct, and an audience of our peers. Get ready to goddamn DISCUSS some shit with me.
Political or executive committee meetings? Robert's Rules, motherfucker. Robert's got my back. You try to table a motion without first moving and getting a second? Fuck that noise. Me and Robert will give you the Parliamentary smack-down, and do it for the good of everyone present, so that the U.S.S. Procedure can get us out of the whirlpool of stupidity, axes to grind and craziness many people bring to meetings. This is how it's done.
However, I contend that my middle finger is an appropriate response, in traffic, to your homophobic bumper sticker. This one here. I'd love to pull over and really have it out about your insecurities, but I haven't got time, and that would be rude to the other motorists in play. I'd love it if there were some quick, hand-signal oriented symbology for "pull over in this Wendy's parking lot and I'll school you on your bumper sticker, your xeno- & homophobia, and probably also your invisible-friend-based ethical system and life direction," but I'm unaware of such, and know neither ASL or hula. The international symbol for "go fuck yourself" however, is a quick and easy solution, and thus appropriate to the situation.
Situational rules of conflict are the basis of texts that date back thousands of years. For us, at this moment in history, when no one really seems to know how to properly argue anymore (much less outright confront) to push for milky, mayonnaise, one-size-fits-all standards for arguing is ridiculous and silly and does not work. Sometimes you have to call a fucking lawyer a "fucking lawyer" and hope he feels the love that goes with it. Sometimes yelling about the movie in the parking lot is the best way of breaking down the complex issues that may or may not have been part of the intended subtext. Sometimes a right cross, a baseball bat, switchblade or frying pan is the only rebuttal that will do - but these are not lead arguments, and should not be what determines the situation.
But if you find yourself there already, you must adapt your argument. The appropriate way to argue with me about this is in the comments field, not prissy little emails.