I always get reflective around the New Year, so brace yourselves.
When I hear someone talk about a lifetime of no regret, or when they answer a question about regret and say that they have none, I wonder - can they have understood the question properly? Maybe they simply didn't hear, or were only tangentially sort of participating in the conversation in the first place. Maybe they haven't thought this through. Could it be as simple as them not having a proper definition of the term?
Merriam-Webster says that regret is a transitive verb meaning "to mourn the loss or death of, to miss very much, or to be very sorry for." Really, you regretless fuck? You don't miss anyone or anything, or ever wish that you'd done shit differently? I can't conceive of how that can be possible unless you've lived a risk-free life, you're in heavy denial, or you're a sociopath, and even then, I can't really get there. Is this person possessed of a dangerous lack of self-awareness? Or are they just arrogant, retarded, stupid, crazy - what? Regret is a teacher, a forger and a guide for the future. Regret is the multifaceted gem through which I view the past. Every scar has a lesson in it. I'm not suggesting anyone should set up a damn shop in Regretsville, either - I keep my regret in a small box in my mind that I open occasionally and flip through, just to remind myself about things I regret, for my sake and everybody else's.
Before I go any further, I want to excise and lift free from this discussion a whole segment of people who deal with regret in a very specific way; anyone who moves past regret and finds a silver lining? I have no problems with you. I have my own "I wouldn't have met so-and-so if this other fucked up thing hadn't happened" situations, so I'm right there with you on mining for silver among the black, rainy-ass clouds of the past.
That doesn't change anything for me, though - what I'm about to say is indicative of either a great immaturity (which I freely acknowledge at this point) on my part, or an ability to hold contradictory ideas and emotions simultaneously that some people don't have - but I want it all. I want my fucking cake and eat it too, or what good is the cake? Yes, great things have happened to me because of shit that happened around me and decisions I made - but I want this stuff and the stuff I gave up, too, and as long as I don't have both - or didn't have both, or whatever, then I have regret. My regret shapes who I am now and what I do as I arrange things in order to cut down on the possibility of future regret.
I don't trust a motherfucker with no regrets. I don't think they know what they're talking about.